CAMP ZAMA, Japan – Spc. Antavius Matthews observed at a younger age that she was extra in contact along with her female facet than the opposite boys.
Matthews, who was born a male however identifies as a lady, stated she struggled to make sense of how she really felt whereas rising up in a tough a part of Atlanta.
“I used to be confused at the moment,” stated Matthews, a provide specialist assigned to the thirty fifth Fight Sustainment Assist Battalion. “I used to be nonetheless making an attempt to determine myself out.”
She wearing feminine clothes and braided her hair, a leap from the robust exterior displayed by males in her neighborhood. There, random shootings had been widespread, she stated, and so was navigating previous drug sellers on her approach residence from college.
But it surely was within the halls of her highschool the place she confronted the actual challenges. Whereas youngsters usually look to seek out themselves throughout these years, she was continuously teased as she tried to precise herself.
“In class, I might hear remarks from males, calling me all sorts of names and dragging me via the mud,” stated Matthews, now 23. “I discovered to not react to it, since you are what you reply to.”
Matthews grew thick pores and skin and strived to stay assured in herself. At 16, she got here out of the closet and informed her household. Whereas the information initially shocked her mom, Matthews stated she has since turn out to be certainly one of her largest supporters.
She stated her mom, a single mother or father who raised 5 youngsters, is a decided girl who has been an incredible function mannequin.
“She gave us numerous life classes about being your self,” Matthews stated, including that her mom additionally taught her to be impartial.
Matthews is certainly one of many LGBTQ Troopers who’ve been capable of overtly serve since 2011 after the repeal of the Protection Division’s “Don’t Ask, Don’t Inform” coverage.
Each June, the army now acknowledges its LGBTQ personnel for his or her service in honor of Nationwide Satisfaction Month.
“If you happen to’re match and also you’re certified to serve, and you’ll preserve the requirements, you ought to be allowed to serve,” Protection Secretary Lloyd J. Austin III has beforehand stated.
Serving with satisfaction
In her senior yr of highschool, Matthews determined to affix the Army. She has served 4 years and hopes to quickly be promoted to sergeant.
She stated she enjoys her job as a 92Y within the provide room, the lifeline for Army models.
“With out provide, you can not do something,” she stated. “You received’t have any gear, workplace provides or different miscellaneous gadgets.”
A self-described introvert, Matthews stated the Army has helped her come out of her shell and be extra social. And the inclusion present in being a part of a cohesive group has made her extra sympathetic to others in her unit.
“We see one another day-after-day and we undergo the identical issues,” she stated. “If I’m wired, then they’re in all probability wired. We’re battle buddies and we’ve to take care of one another. We’re one another’s household.”
Army models are sometimes a hodgepodge of Troopers from distinctive backgrounds thrown collectively and anticipated to perform any mission.
Whereas at Fort Hood, Texas, which was her earlier responsibility station, Matthews stated her provide sergeant was a Muslim who opened her eyes to his tradition and the faith of Islam.
“I discovered issues from him and it was the identical for him,” she stated. “We had been from two totally different worlds, however we nonetheless grew to become associates.”
The sense of belonging she has acquired all through her Army profession has made her extra assured to be herself.
“It makes me really feel like I’m needed,” she stated, “and that I’m a human as an alternative of one thing international.”
Being your self
Matthews at the moment performs a key function within the thirty fifth CSSB’s busy provide room, tucked contained in the U.S. Army Japan headquarters constructing.
Workers Sgt. Natasha Ridgeway, her provide sergeant, described Matthews as a great Soldier who could be very respectful, loyal and completes any activity she receives.
“All the pieces about her is a breath of contemporary air,” Ridgeway stated. “She’s all the time comfortable, high-spirited.”
When Matthews first arrived to Japan final yr, Ridgeway took her beneath her wing to make sure she was correctly in-processed. The sergeant even had Matthews be a part of her household on outings to discover the nation.
With Matthews’ household 1000’s of miles away, Ridgeway stated she tries to deal with her like certainly one of her personal relations.
“It’s good to know that you simply nonetheless have household proper right here on this workplace,” Ridgeway stated. “You will be your self.”
Matthews has drawn inspiration to be her true self from different service members in addition to musical artist Woman Gaga, an advocate for the LGBTQ neighborhood.
“As a child, it was superior to see her be herself,” Matthews stated. “She didn’t actually care about what anyone stated about her.”
Whereas the LGBTQ motion has made progress over time, the neighborhood nonetheless battles with psychological well being issues.
Final month, the Trevor Challenge, a suicide prevention and psychological well being group that focuses on the queer neighborhood, printed a report that confirmed 45% of youth respondents had significantly thought-about suicide prior to now yr.
Transgender and nonbinary individuals thought-about or tried suicide on the highest charges, and LGBTQ youth of colour revealed larger charges than their white counterparts, in keeping with the report.
For these battling their very own identification, Matthews encourages them to simply merely be themselves and never fear about what others assume.
“You possibly can’t love no person for those who can’t love your self,” she stated. “That’s the very first thing, and it’s type of the toughest factor to do. It takes time and also you’ll get there ultimately.”
Associated hyperlinks: